When mum says we’re having take-away for dinner.
There was a period of time when I thought I couldn’t write anymore. That I would lose it and I couldn’t express myself.
Now I don’t think that’ll happen. I have to much to say and not enough time to say it.
My mind’s in a delirium
Of pain which flows freely through my veins
Right in my chest, fuck I’m so sick of the tests
Why can’t you just find what’s wrong with me
All these lines and electrodes
And the beeping that’s out of time with my heartbeat
It’s enough to drive me insane,
Hand in hand with my delirium
I’m a beat away from losing it all
Wane smiles all around, empty jokes as empty as the hallways
Life is as dull as the paint on the wall and the screaming traps me in an eternal asylum
The pain keeps me awake but it doesn’t keep me sane
It’s too quiet here I wish they’d scream with me, too many bad memories so much pain and I’m just left asking is it all worth it?!
Look at all these people, tragic little people…they’re smiling and they don’t know what for!!!
I don’t know if it’s your smile or your eyes
Or if it’s the feeling I always get inside
The way you move into a room, how it lights up and makes all the darkness go away
You’re my kind of crazy, enough to make me skip every beat
And it aches every time you’re away, even if its only one damn day
Maybe it is your eyes that stare right into me with that crazy little spark or that cheeky smile you get when you always want to start
Maybe it’s the way you make me smile even when I’ve had the worst day, but I think it’s more
It’s when I can’t sleep coz I’m thinking about you and wishing you were here, or the rainy days I’m at work but all I want to do is be with you. I think it’s all of those things and more coz I’m just plain crazy for you and I’d go to hell and back for you. I know it’s the smile, and I know it’s the eyes that I want to wake up to all the time and to welcome me home. I know one thing for fucking sure, and it’s that I love you more than life itself. And I always will.
Post with 1 note
I have been aborted at the most basic level
A dysfunction to function, i am the required spanner
that needs to be thrown into the works
A dark pariah, A mystery to all
I am the saviour and the scapegoat to be used as you will
I am - The lead in to the solution but within,
i have a cage of cruelty which is locked inside me
And we follow these patterns because it works for you
Self preservation and a victimless crime
The only pair of bloodied hands is mine
And now i am without control or direction
the beast you bred kindles unbridled rage
Everything that was put aside for the greater good
has come back to haunt you
I’m not the demon i once was but i still have my scars
And the beast never forgets
it only waits patiently for the moment to strike!!
All of the anxiety and all of my anguish
The pain and the hate which i thought had gone away
The rage that threatens to break, its all part of me
born from our mistakes
Hooray for life dealing you another 2 and a 7. Fucking one break seriously just fuckin one
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